Stop Being Mean to Yourself Read online

  Maybe we just have to keep cycling through until we find all those missing pieces and finally take them back.

  I don’t know what it means to be karma-free, or if I really am. Maybe it means we can let the winds blow away all our old emotions and beliefs—all the blocks to our power. There’s a higher road and a lower road to any place we want to go. The energy of these times brings the freedom to take that higher route.

  Nichole pulled up in the drive just as I was testing the strength of the new chain that would secure my garbage can. It looked as if it would work.

  “Did you figure it out yet?” she asked, following me down the stairs.

  “Figure what out?” I said.

  “Life. The book. Both,” she said.

  Now it was my turn to smile. “It’s still a mystery to me.”

  ON WILL’S BIRTHDAY, he and Nichole came to the house. Something special was going on that weekend; I could feel it in the air. Nichole and Will went for a walk on the beach. It was the place they first had met.

  When they returned to the house later that night, Nichole smiled—no, she beamed—and showed me her left hand. On it, she now wore a sparkling opal engagement ring. The children and I hugged and cried and talked and laughed. Then Nichole brought out Will’s birthday cake.

  He blew out all the candles except for one—a special candle that couldn’t be extinguished no matter how hard he tried to blow out the flame.

  “That candle is just like us,” Nichole said, looking around the room. “No matter what we do to put it out, the flame keeps on burning bright.”

  THE END

  Credits and Sources

  Computer and Internet Resources

  America Online Writer’s Resources, including Compton’s

  Encyclopedia, Grolier’s Multimedia, and the Concise

  Columbia Library, provided instant access to facts on

  Algeria, terrorism, and the Middle East.

  Compton’s Interactive Encyclopedia, 1996, provided valuable data and facts about terrorism, Cairo, Egypt, Giza, the Great Pyramids, the Sahara Desert, Islam, Ramadan, the history of writing, language and art, the Seven Ancient Wonders of the World, Algiers, the Middle East, and Morocco.

  World Wide Web, Elephants, Thomas Helton, 1996, “Tummy Rumble.”

  Government Agencies

  Many United States government publications provided valuable facts and data on Algiers, Egypt, and Morocco.

  The Embassy of the Democratic and Popular Republic of Algeria and the Egyptian Embassy were extremely helpful in preparing for this trip.

  Miscellaneous

  Brant Parker and Johnny Hart, creators of “The Wizard of Id.”

  Janis Joplin’s Greatest Hits by Columbia provided the background music for writing this book.

  A special thanks to the reference desks at the Ridgedale-Hennepin Area Library in Minnetonka, Minnesota, and the Southdale-Hennepin Area Library in Edina, Minnesota, for supplying factual data.

  Virginia Slims commercial/ad was the source of the line used in the dedication.

  Movies

  Tombstone, Hollywood Pictures, written by Kevin Jarre, film by George P. Cosmatos, provided inspiration for the line on the “difference between a reckoning and revenge.”

  Tommy Boy, Paramount Pictures, A Lorne Michaels Production, film by Peter Segal, starring Chris Farley, for his tag line, “for the Love of God.”

  Publications

  Algeria: A Country Study. Edited by Helen Chapin Metz. Library of Congress, Federal Research Division, 1994.

  Arabian Nights. Adapted from Richard F. Burton’s unexpurgated translation by Jack Zipes. New York: Penguin Books, 1991. Contains the tale of Scheherazade.

  Bradshaw, John E. Bradshaw on the Family. Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications, 1988.

  A Course in Miracles. Glen Ellen, CA: The Foundation for Inner Peace, 1975.

  Critser, Greg. “Oh, How Happy We Will Be: Pills, Paradise, and the Profits of the Drug Companies.” Harper’s Magazine, vol. 292, no. 1753 (June 1996).

  Eadie, Betty J., with Curtis Taylor. Embraced by the Light. Placerville, CA: Gold Leaf Press, 1992.

  Holy Bible, Authorized or King James Version. World Bible Publishers, 1989.

  Jochmans, Joseph. “How Old Are the Pyramids?” Atlantis Rising, no. 8, Livingston, MT.

  Lamott, Anne. Bird by Bird. Garden City, NY: Doubleday, Anchor Books, 1995. This book, a must read for any writer, aspiring or published, provided me with professional support, wisdom, and the particular impetus for my definition of self-love. The line referred to is one where Anne writes that she believes “nothing is the opposite of love.”

  New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures. Brooklyn, NY: Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, 1961, 1981, 1984.

  Peck, M. Scott. The Road Less Traveled. New York: Simon & Schuster, Touchstone, 1978.

  Simon, Jeffrey D. The Terrorist Trap: America’s Experience with Terrorism. Bloomington and Indianapolis, IN: Indiana University Press, 1994.

  Sun Tzu. The Art of War. Translated by Thomas Cleary. Boston and London: Shambhala, 1988.

  Williamson, Marianne. A Return to Love. New York: HarperCollins, 1992.

  Zwingle, Erla. “Morocco: North Africa’s Timeless Mosaic.” National Geographic, Oct. 1996, vol. 190.

  And. . .

  A thank you and acknowledgment to:

  Gregg Baxter, for writing the beautiful letter.

  Jen Bush, for discovering with Nichole the marvelous pigs and vampires theory.

  Angelo DiBiase, my friend and hairdresser, for costuming me.

  Michael Fowler, my Aikido sensei, from the War and Peace Dojo, Santa Monica, CA, for patiently teaching me Aikido and providing a helpful brochure from which I derived my definition and description of Aikido.

  Marjorie Campbell-Perfilio, for telling me the beautiful stories about herself and about Johann Strauss, and for her encouragement along the way.

  And her son, Christopher Perfilio, for bringing Marjorie and me together.

  Ann Poe, for helping me solve a few of this book’s mysteries.

  Michael Powers, Los Angeles, California, for the author photograph.

  Charlie Raun, for the delightful story of the “Don’t Help” hand.

  About the Author

  Photo by Michael Powers

  MELODY BEATTIE is the bestselling author of The Lessions of Love, Journey to the Heart, and several other books.

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins authors.

  ALSO BY MELODY BEATTIE

  Codependent No More

  Beyond Codependency

  The Language of Letting Go

  Codependents’ Guide to the 12 Steps

  The Lessons of Love

  Journey to the Heart

  Copyright

  STOP BEING MEAN TO YOURSELF: A Story About Finding the True Meaning of Self-Love. Copyright © 1997 by Melody Beattie. All rights reserved. under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  HarperCollins Web Site: http://www.harpercollins.com

  HarperCollins®, ®, and HarperSanFrancisco™ and A TREE CLAUSE BOOK® are trademarks of HarperCollins Publishers Inc.

  FIRST EDITION

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Beattie, Melody

  Stop being mean to yourself: a story about finding the true meaning of self-love / Melody Beattie.—1st ed.

  ISBN 0–06–251119–X (cloth)

  ISBN 0–06–251120–3 (pbk.)

&n
bsp; EPub Edition August 2013 ISBN 9780062311993

  I. Title.

  PS3552.E178S76 1997

  813’.54—dc21 96–39644

  97 98 99 00 01 RRDH 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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